Queen Of Hearts
by AliiceMariie
Summary: There are some diseases that just can't be cured with a simple surgery, or a couple of medications. Bella's disease, for example, takes a chaos to go away... Does it ever really go away, though? Language, lemons, tears. OOC.
1. Who's Gonna Save Me Now?

**A/N:I cried while writing this. I think it's pretty sad. Please read and let me know what you think, OK? And oh, I don't own Twilight.**

**Bella POV**

"I'm so sorry, Bella. I'm so sorry..."

_Here we go again_, I thought. One more doctor that can't help me. They might as well hand me the tickets to SFU express already.

_Death has lost it's meaning. _

You see, being told that I'm gonna die for so many times, made me numb to sorrow. I'm not sad, I'm just waiting. I fail to see anything special about this anymore. I just hope I don't die choking, or coughing up blood, I just wanna go in peace. A Sunday morning, my parents will be sleeping on the couch by my bed. They won't wake up. Edward will be curled up with me -sans the cables and needles- on my bed, my favorite book will be by my side, and I'll just know it's time. I'm going to kiss Edward and tell him I love him. He's going to hold me tight, look into my eyes, until they close for an eternity.

Oh, _Edward_.

If I feel bad because I'm dying, it's only for Edward. You see, we were highschool sweethearts. We graduated together, with our bestfriends, then everyone coupled up and spread all around USA. We completely lost contact then, but of course, Edward and I stood together. Now, we're both 25. We both finished college together, majoring in literature. We are both qualified enough to get an enjoyable job that pays quite well. The only difference is, he has a healthy, fully functioning body and a future ahead of him, while I have abnormally narrow pulmonary veins and just a couple of months left to live. We won't be together forever, like we planned. Life is a cold bitch, I know.

"Bella, you'll get better, I promise. I don't know how, I don't know when, but fuck it, I'll find a way. I swear, I'll keep you alive somehow..."

Green eyes were rimmed with red and glistening with tears. It broke my heart to no end, seeing him like this. I hated myself for making him suffer. I hated the fact that he had to say those three sentences after every new doctor, every appointment, to keep us all up and steady. I hated this whole thing, and I hated having to wait for death to put a fucking end to this _thing_ that was tearing apart everyone I loved.

_I don't care if you kill me, just end this for Edward. For Renee, for Charlie..._

Charlie had to take Renee home so I could sleep, since Renee was crying too loud. Edward never left my side, where he had been for the past 9 years of my life. And look at that, now I'm leaving him...

I slept for a couple of hours, then woke up to Edward's laughter. First, I thought it was a dream. That magical, happy-pill laughter had gone for long, I thought. I hadn't heard it since... Two Christmases ago. When this _thing_ wasn't in our lives yet.

"Bella, I found a cure, I-I know how to heal you, just look-Oh God, I need to call in Charlie,an-and book the tickets-Oh God, Bella, you are going to survive!"

He hugged me with enough strength to make me cough a little, then he released his grip to look into my eyes. He was smiling, with those beautiful lips and the green eyes. It was a lovely sight.

"Edward, stop and breathe. No, don't gasp for air, breathe decently. What the hell are you talking about?"

He waved a magazine at me.

"Okay, so, this is a magazine about the best surgeons in the world, and they're talking about a miraculous heart surgeon. You see, she even has this nickname-Oh, screw the name, she has never lost any patients, they say. She has this magical pair of hands, and she does this amazing surgeries..."

I stopped listening. For the first time in my life, I got so angry at Edward, I could rip off all of that beautiful bronze mess on top of his head.

"Edward, shut the fuck up!"

His smile froze on his face. "Bella, what-"

"I said shut up. Stop talking about miracles, because they never happen, alright? This woman-" I took the magazine from his hands, "-A.W., oh no, pardon me, 'Queen Of Hearts', isn't gonna save me. She lives in New York-I'd drop dead halfway during the trip there by the way- God knows how she probably isn't a free bitch, what with all the awards, she can't help me! NO ONE can help me, there is abso-fucking-lutely NOTHING to do to save me! Just wake the fuck up and see, I'm going to die in less than three fucking months, and there is not a single thing you can do about it!"

I hadn't realized that I sat up a little and ripped off one of my cords during my little rant. I hadn't realized the nurse Angela, my parents Renee and Charlie, standing at the door, looking at me in utter shock. I hadn't realized that I ripped off the magazine to thousand pieces while shouting, and I most certainly hadn't realized Edward holding on to the remains of the damned magazine for dear life.

I let tears escape from my eyes for the first time since I found out about my disease. I leaned back into my bed. "I hate this... Just let me go already... Just leave me alone, let me die... Please... Please..."

* * *

For the first time in 2 years, I demanded everyone to leave my room and not come back until I ask for them. After three days, as my situation got worse, my demand was ignored, and desperate sobs of three people filled my room again. Next day, we were on a plane to New York, all of us praying that I don't land in a coffin.

**Queen Of Hearts POV**

_Bzzzt. Bzzzt. Bzzzt._

_Oh God, are you kidding me?_

_Bzzzt. Bzzzt. Bzzzt._

_Shut up the damn thing already, I'm on a break!_

_Bzzzt. Bzzzt. Bzzzt._

_Oh my fucking-_

"Hello?"

Finally, someone made it stop. Wait. I'm in my bed. Who else is in my bed with me? What the hell happened last night?

Oh, right. My husband of 3 years. And, the only thing I drank last night was a milkshake and I threw it up before I got to bed.

"Sure, just a minute-" he looked at me smiling "Hey Queen, they're calling you from the hospital."

"I swear, if you ever call me Queen again, I'm going to chop off your-"

"They're still on the phone."

I glared at him and grabbed the phone.

"Who are you and what the fuck do you want?"

"Hey, relax, won't you? Where is your maternal mercy?"

"Look Rosalie, just because I'm on maternity leave, it doesn't mean I have maternal feelings, OK? Just tell me your problem and leave me the fuck alone."

I heard an irritated sigh from the other side of the phone. "Someone we know closely is really ill. And she's here. And she needs Magic Brandon. So, I suggest you get your fat ass off the bed and-" I heard someone else trying to talk in the background, but failing, since she was coughing so much "Hey, wait-" _cough_ "Magic _Brandon_? Are we talking about-"

_I'd remember that voice from anywhere._

"Oh God."

I dropped the phone, ran into the bathroom and threw up all over the sink.

* * *

_2 hours and a phone call later..._

"-so, it's very serious. Bella is dying, and they think I can save her."

"You _can_ save her."

"You're not helping, Jasper!"

He looked up at me, feigning innocence. "But I'm tying your shoelaces every morning, doesn't that count as help?"

I lightly flicked his forehead. "I would tie them myself if YOUR baby didn't block my way. Plus, you don't understand. It's impossible that she's alive now. You just can't live with all your pulmonary veins THAT narrow, it's impossible! She's like a ticking time bomb, anything I do could only trigger things to be worse!"

He stared at me for a while. "You mean-"

"Yes, that's exactly what I mean. My best friend is dying and there is nothing I can do." There. I lost control of my tears again.

It took me another two hours to get back my grip and prepare myself for what as about to come. And yet again, I burst into tears the moment I saw Bella's pale, worn-out face.

**A/N:I hope you liked it, and please let me know what you think! Reviews keep me going!**


	2. Time Made Her The Queen

**A/N:I'm so sorry I didn't update earlier, I was sick while writing the original second chapter, and re-reading it again made me wanna dump it in trash and write it all over again. XD And the same old:I don't own Twilight.**

**Bella POV**

I knew time had given Alice a lot of things.

It had given an abandoned baby a name, Alice. It had given a little orphan girl a home and loving parents. It had given a quiet child a sound. It had given a left out girl four friends.

_And then, we grew up._

Like a practiced dance move, we coupled up instantly as we got to high school. Alice was unintentionally left out.

Then, as I had confirmed today, time has given Alice the most important thing in her life:Jasper.

Now, Alice kicked time's ass. She fixed hearts, saved lives. She decided that you were gonna live. And you did.

_Alice was a God now. _Well, a Goddess. And the reason behind it was Jasper, I was sure

So today, when I heard fast, rhytmical footsteps coming towards my room, I half-expected to see a grown-up, kick-ass Alice. And believe it or not, I actually expected to Jasper behind her.

She barged in the room, practically dragging Jasper behind her. She saw me. Her blue eyes met mine.

There was an odd silence.

I'm pretty sure Alice kept her eyes glued on my face, but my eyes were wandering. _Nine years, fuck it. _Who knew it would change so much? Alice was obviously pregnant. _Very pregnant indeed_. Her face had grown to be more sophisticated. Her moves were even more graceful now. Only her short height and short hair hadn't changed. And connected to her arm, was a completely different Jasper. I was sure as hell that this wasn't the scrawny boy that came to our school later. No, there was a grown man in front of me, complete with muscles, and that intimidating look in his aqua colored eyes. But 'Jasper Classics' had never changed:Scars and the messy hair. I immediately remembered the nickname he and Edward shared, and I smiled.

Alice bolted out the door right that moment.

Jasper looked at us apologetically and went after her. We heard Alice's sobs, and Jasper trying to relax her, and the sound of a door being slammed shut.

I started feeling terrible again. Even Doctor Wonderland lost all hope seeing me, what the fuck was that supposed to mean?

There was a silence in the room. It was the kind of silence that made you wanna pinch somebody, so they'll make noise and it'll not be quiet again.

Thank _God_ we have Emmett.

"Guys... I know it's not the right time to say this but... Don't you think Alice has been getting incredibly fat?"

There were snickers and giggles in the room now, thankfully. Rosalie whacked the back of Emmett's head. "She's 8 months pregnant, you fool!"

Clarification dawned on Emmett's face. "Oh... Should I go congratulate her?"

Rosalie repeated the whacking action "Emmett, you've been to her baby shower just three weeks ago."

"Three weeks ago? The week I discovered that spray stuff that gets you really high? Yeah Rose, I wonder why I don't remember."

Rosalie whacked him again. Edward smirked at them. "Maybe it's because of all the whacking, Rosalie. Just sayin'." He ducked just in time, as a water bottle flew over his head.

Rosalie wasn't usually so bitchy. _Well, she was_, but not that much. She was the ultimate bitch that you had to avoid at all causes, when she was sad. And considering the three crying nurses just outside the door, she _was_ sad.

This _thing_ kind of changed my personality. I knew I could die any minute, so I said things that I'd usually keep to myself, now. That stuck to me as a habit now, though it wasn't necessarily good all times. There was some pretty serious shit I'd outburst, then regret it later, like my little confession now.

"I wish I could die now, I hate doing this to all of you. Isn't there a cord I can cut or something?" I regretted _every single fucking word_ as they spilled from my lips.

Renee ran out crying, and Charlie left a moment after. Rosalie's steel colored eyes glistened with tears. Emmett got up from his couch and stood facing the window, hiding his face. I could hear his silent sobs.

_Then the worst part came._

The bed shook a little.I felt little, wet drops on my hair. Edward hugged me tightly, and buried his face to my hair. He was crying so intensely, _I_ felt like I couldn't breathe. It was like the feeling you get when you watch someone torture a kitten, or see a newborn baby getting killed. It made me feel horrible enough to get me to start crying too_. Please, please oh please, let there be a cord..._

We were interrupted as Alice walked in the room as fast as she got out just a couple minutes ago.

She nodded slightly to Edward, her way of saying "Hello." Then she walked closer to my bed, and we smiled at each other. "That's the girl I know." I whispered. She leaned in to hug me, but her belly was getting in the way. She straightened up, and held my hands instead. We looked at each outher for a long time in silence, before I asked "Girl or boy?"

"Both girls."

Edward had it together again. "Jasper, I would have high-fived you if they were boys." Four sets of eyes glared at him at the same time, making him shut up. Emmett was still silent.

"Alice, if I wasn't being used as multiple plug socket right now, I would be jumping." I wiped away a tear. "I'm so happy for you."

I had doubts that she had heard what I said. She was too busy looking at my chart. Her face got more and more worried as she read. With a sigh, she held Jasper's hand, and kept reading. I couldn't help noticing Jasper's expression getting just as worried as he stole glances at the medical disaster chart in front of him.

Alice threw away the chart. "There's nothing to do."

I kinda had the feeling that this wasn't her closing sentence. "So..."

She looked determined, and confident, and a little scared. "So we discover a new way out."

That moment, I remembered a little talk we had with Jasper in high school. About Alice. He had said that sentence that was in my memory even to this day, and I agreed to it now.

When Alice was near, I felt _hope_.

**Alice POV**

I don't know how I made it to the locker room, I really don't. With the floor moving underneath me, and everything spinning, and my ears buzzing so much, I just lost track of my balance. And my sanity, for a short while.

Jasper came in right after me and shut the door. He hugged me and picked me up, because I was pretty sure I hit my head on the wall. I could see myself, us, at the mirror across the room. I could see my nails digging into my palms and I could see Jasper trying to hold my hands to stop me from doing so .

I just cried for a while afterwards. My sobs were quiet, but my thoughts were so loud, they just made me wanna cry more. I had multiple flashbacks to our school years. I remembered how Bella blushed. How her brown hair shined red in the tiniest bit of light it caught. How her chocolate colored eyes sparkled. How her skin glowed. How she looked so... _alive_.

This girl I saw couldn't be Bella. She looked dead. Her eyes were frozen, her skin was pasty and grey, and her hair was tangled and matted, like she hadn't been out of the bed for ages. The worst part was that, it was the exact case.

_Get yourself together, damn it._

_Please let me save her, please..._

**A/N:Reviewers get the hear the mini story behind the Edward and Jasper nickname!**


	3. Please Don't Say The Words

**A/N:Sorry for the delay. I'm going through a bitch of a breakup. My writing may suck. And, POV's change A LOT in this chapter. Let me know if I can make you cry, because that's my exact inteniton. Don't own Twilight. **

**Bella POV**

_Women are bitches._

That was the superior thought in my mind when I put down the 6th Cosmopolitan I read in a noticably short period of time. I was pretty sure women were writing this, because, let's face it:Everyone is trying to steal your man, or the last pair of that Marc Jacobs pumps when you're in a woman's world.

So, that was the exact case right now. This stupid article was trying to make me give up Edward by guilt. "I Can't Satisfy Him, But Somebody Else Can."

It was about a woman who was very sick, and couldn't have sex with her husband, so she asked her best friend to satisfy him. According to the interview, their relationship was now better than ever. _Please_.

I glared into the magazine, hoping to dissolve it by my laser staring. It was only me, Edward and Charlie in the room, and I kindly asked Charlie to get me some of Harry Clearwater's famous fish fries, lying about craving them so much. By the time Charlie left, Edward had realized that I was itching to say something. He came by my bed and smirked down at me. "What, love?"

I figured there was no easy way to do this, so I was just gonna come out and say it straight, though I definately didn't plan to sound so crude. "It's OK if you do someone else, I won't mind." I mentally face-palmed, ass-kicked and bitch-slapped myself at the same time in my mind. _Real smooth Bella, real smooth._

Edward made a choking-laughing sound, and looked at me all funny. "Wh-What are you talking about, Bella? Do what to someone else?" I rolled my eyes.

"Oh, you know what I'm talking about. I know that my old lady body can't satisfy your 27 years worth of perfection, no matter how much the horny 26 years young chick wants to." I smiled, hoping my informal and candid choice of words to soothe _that_ expression on his face. But he got furious at my words, instead. "I can't believe you'd even consider that I'd do such thing, it's just-just ridiculous! How could you even think that..."

After that, it was 20 minutes of Edward pacing back and forth in the room, cutting off his own sentences with shuddering and shrugging and running those talented, slender fingers through the bronze locks of UNF and heaven_. Now you see the 26 years young chick, huh?_

After finally realizing that I stopped listening a long time ago, he came by my bed again. "You're forgetting something, and you need to be reminded." Before I can even analyse his words, he threw the covers off me and pulled up my oversized tee. His hands gently stroked the insides of my thighs, placing little kisses along the burning trails his fingers left on my pale skin. I felt the balance on the bed shift as he got into a kneeling position between my legs. _Speaking of, when was the last time I shaved my legs? _"Beautiful, beautiful Bella..." His hands found the spot where I needed him the most, finally...

_Except, that didn't happen._

Edward went on with the pacing, while I imagined him doing dirty things to me, or the other way around. It seemed this was the closest I'd have to getting some action anyway. After a while, I got bored in my own mind, but I heard that "I'll always be with you because you're the only one" conversation from Edward too many times to listen to it again. I grabbed my cell and texted Alice. "My husband's a nutcase." Her reply made me snort. "Mine is trying 2 adjust a crib now. Hilarious 2 watch."

I had gotten Edward so upset. He went downstairs to the cafeteria to get a coffee, but for some reason I knew I wouldn't see him for the next two hours. Edward liked solitude and he didn't get to have much of that, lately.

Maybe, Edward and I would never get to touch each other like that again. Compared to all the things I was missing out on, was it worrisome this made me the saddest? Maybe I my mind was turning itself to a nympho. Was it even possible?

I had time. I could sleep on it.

**Alice POV**

"Cinnabuns..."

"Yes?"

"And green apples..."

"Mmhm?"

"And... I guess that's it."

"Really?"

"No. And fudge sauce. Lots and lots of fudge sauce. OK, love you, be quick and don't come back if you forget anything on the list. Bye!"

I hung up the phone, leaned back on my chair and smiled to myself. I was starting to enjoy this new life style of slackery. Jasper, however, probably didn't like spending half his day at the groceries, looking for panna cotta flavored gourmet bubble gum. Well, if I were carrying his babies around, he was just gonna have to deal with it.

The phone rang and I knocked over a couple of folders trying to pick it up. I was expecting a call that could save Bella, or at least approve my very risky solution that could just do it.

"Carlisle," I breathed into the phone. "Please tell me it's gonna work."

He chuckled into the phone. "Hello to you too, Alice. How are you today?" I puffed impatiently. "I should tell you Alice, I never doubt your medical skills. No one except you could come up with such an idea, calculating the outcome in every way like you do. It is indeed very dangerous, but it's much better than trying every useless thing that will be absolutely no help at all, just to say to her family "We did everything we could." So, when are you planning to schedule-"

I hung up, got my keys and bolted out the door.

**Edward POV**

"Alice, I thought your insanity would have toned down in almost a decade, but you proved me wrong again. No. You're crazy, and you're not getting those little hands in my wife's chest."

Bella had 30% chance of surviving this surgery. 30%, and she was asking me? Would I ever put her in such risque?

I avoided Bella's pleading eyes, I knew they would break my resistance in a split second. My traitor of a dad, who was supporting this surgery and even offering to be in it, was still trying to tell me how quickly Bella would heal if she survived this. He was telling me Bella could even go cliff jumping after full recovery. He was telling me about motorcycles. He was telling me about every ridiculous thing we could be doing in 2 years, if she lived. And the last bit about having little kids of ours running around... That was the point I felt like slapping him square on the mouth.

"No! I said no, and that's it! No, no, no!"

Alice hit my arm with the chart. "She will go on as usual for a week, two weeks, if she's lucky. Then she'll start to feel intense chest pain, and her heart functions will decrease even more. That means she will have had embolism. Then, she might have a stroke, but that's a really low possibilty, since she is most likely to die before that happens."

I broke away from Alice's burning glare, and looked into Bella's eyes.

"Be careful." _And if she dies, kill me with the same scalpel you killed her with..._

**Emmett POV**

I walked in Bella's hospital room, taking in the dread, the solicitude and the thick-as-butter worry. Charlie was sleeping heavily, and Edward and Rosalie were quietly sitting by sleeping Bella. I looked at Rosalie, I knew she would understand. She quickly nodded, whispered something to Edward's ear, and went out the room arm in arm. _Look carefully, world. Rosalie Hale is showing mercy to someone. Extraordinary._

I sat by Bella's bed and took her tiny hand between my huge ones. She immediately woke up. I smiled at her, and she smiled back, using her free hand to graze my dimples. "How are you doing?" I whispered. She whispered back "Good. As good as I can be." We both chuckled a little, though it was just about the lamest thing to do. The last line of my laugh turned into a sob. The thought of losing this tiny human was overwhelming, I just couldn't take it. "Hey now," she wiped away a drop of tear, trying to whisper soothing words. "Hush, I'll be fine, don't worry..."

"Bella, I... I just want to say that I love you. That's it."

She smiled at me and that made me sad, maybe because that might be the last time I'll ever see that smile.

"Emmett?"

"Yeah?"

"Propose to Rosalie before she dumps your sorry ass. You'll regret these days of whoring around when you hit the big four-oh with no one else but a bag of chips and beer and she will be clapping at her kids' piano recital."

I laughed. "Seriously, Bells? That's how you see my future?"

She had drifted out, looking at the ceiling. "Remember Christmas Prom, '96?"

_FORKS HIGH SCHOOL, 11 YEARS AGO..._

_Man, I was so drunk right now... _

_It was probably a terrible idea to introduce my gang to the wonders of booze. Rosalie, who was officially the most sober person of the night with two beers and one jello shot, was watching the door, and occasionally popping some of the buttons of her dress, keeping me at the edge of my seat. Jasper was starting to worry me because I was sure half of the drinks we 'lost' had now made Jasper too drunk to even talk, though the way he was looking at Alice was freaking me out. I bet Alice would've chosen a longer dress if she had known that she was dancing on the table now. Meanwhile, Edward had Bella on his lap. He was making her laugh, and as she threw her head back with laughter, he was quickly ripping off the frills at the chest of the dress. He was sitting in a puddle of blue silk right now. It was fun because no one knew we were here, in principal's office, except Mike Newton. He kept coming back for Rosalie, and each time, she would turn him down, saying she only loved me. Each time I heard that, I made a line at the wall at my back. At the end of the night, the wall was unrecognisable. That night, I was dropping off the guys at home, and explaining to each their parents why their daughter had bite marks on her chest and neck, or why their son was only in his boxers, with blue frills stuck at the sides. Then, it was only me and Bella left. I confessed her that I loved Rosalie and would marry her someday, and she got so emotional, she started crying, and hugged me, and told me how she was so happy for us, before throwing up at my shoes and passing out._

"Yeah," I said. "Don't remind." Bella laughed.

"I still have some of those bite marks." Alice startled us, walking through the door and checking the IV cord for any bubbles. After staring at one of the annoying, beeping machines for way too long, she turned around to face me. "The chief is an annoying ass wipe. He said I'm too pregnant to be a surgeon. Carlisle will lead." Bella held out her hand to Alice. "I'll be fine." She smiled. "Emmett, leave us alone now and let us have a girl chat." I obligingly left the room, crying inside.

**Alice POV**

We looked at each other for a long time, no words.

"Any questions?"

"Tons. You know I won't ask them to you."

I snorted. "Right. The kind of questions only the disaster expert could answer."

She playfully swatted my arm. "Hey, don't talk about your husband like that."

"Tell me I'm wrong."

She rolled her eyes. "Fine. He isn't a pansy like you guys. He won't start weeping if I ask him what happens if I die."

I smirked. "You know, he actually cried when I told him I was pregnant."

"'I'm so happy' kind of cry?"

I sighed. "'What the fuck do I do now?' kind of cry."

"I guessed so."

A comfortable, soothing silence was broken by Bella's weak laughter. "What?" I asked.

She wiped away a few tears, with a smile on her face. "I don't know, it's weird. I keep getting these flashbacks of our teenage years. You know how they say that your life flashes before your eyes when you're about to die? I guess I won't have time to do that in the surgery, so I'm just getting them now, slowly."

I frowned, then decided that changing the subject would do more good than argue. "What did you remember?"

She laughed again. "It's pretty crazy, just... "

"Say it."

"Remember the Friday of Jasper's second week in school?"

"Oh God..." I covered my face with my hands. It was the most embarrassing moment of my life, hands down.

"No, I'll finish! Wait, page Rosalie and send away Charlie. This needs a special moment!"

_15 minutes later..._

Rosalie got Bella's bed, taking her feet on her lap. "Tell, this is my favorite story!" She laughed evilishly.

"OK, here it goes..."

_HALE RESIDENCE, 12 YEARS AGO..._

"_You are WHAT?"_

"_Sssh! Your cousin is in the next room! He'll hear!"_

_Rosalie started pacing across the room. "I don't give a fuck what my cousin hears! I'll kill him in the next minute anyway!" Bella was just standing there, mouth hanging agape. "I can't believe you did it and didn't tell us for whole three days."_

_I sighed in exasperation. "That's where you're stuck? I'm telling you I might be pregnant!"_

_Rosalie stopped pacing for a moment, and started gnawing on her thumb nail for a while, thinking. She spoke in a calm voice. "Okay, two days. Not too late. You always have them irregular. But just in case, Jasper should know."_

_I thought over that, then replied. "OK. Call him over. Don't startle him, he will need us to be calm now." I nervously fiddled with the hem of my skirt. Rosalie nodded, then went by one of the walls. She hit the wall with her fist three times, before shouting out "Come over here loser!" Bella frantically gestured her to stop yelling, but in a second, the door was harshly opened by a very pissed off looking Jasper._

"_What do you want?"_

_Rosalie poked me in the ribs. _Hard_. Bella tried to say something in the background, but was shut up by Rosalie._

"_I'm pregnant!"_

"_Poor fucker doesn't know what hit him." I sushed Rosalie._

"_Uh... Are you sure?"_

"_What do you mean am I sure?"_

_His eyes slowly drifted from my face, to below, finally stopping at my bare legs. I looked down to see what was so interesting... Oh. Dear. God._

"_I'll just leave you girls alone, then."_

_He closed the door behind him, while I froze, looking at the blood trickling down my inner thigh._

_Rosalie commented. "Well, at least you know you're not pregnant."_

The said evil vixen was doubling over with laughter right now. "Shut up!" I shouted. "It would be so embarrassing if we hadn't gotten married a few years later!"

Bella was looking at me, smiling. It's funny how someone who's about to die to smile so much.

I leant down to kiss her forehead, and said "I love you." Then I walked out, and sat by the door next to Emmett, cradling his head in my arms. We soaked each other with tears for a while.

**Rosalie POV**

"So, it's just you and me now." Bella smiled. I tried smiling back, but that just ouldn't work today. I couldn't even fake one, so I gave up.

"Bella, I can't get emotional right now. All you suckers need me to be strong, but I can't. Not if you turn me into a crying mess with these flashbacks, like the ones we have just outside the door. I just can't."

Bella understood. She just patted her chest, and I carefully laid my head over it, hearing the faint heartbeat, maybe for the last time.

"Okay," she whispered. "Okay, then we'll just talk about weather."

"Okay." I said and sniffed. One tear trickled down my cheek, but I didn't let anyone see that. This would be the first, and the last. They needed me. Bella needed me.

**Jasper POV**

Alice had called me to say she was in the hospital, because Bella would go on a very severe surgery in a couple of hours.

So now, here I was, outside her door, just standing there and not really knowing what to do. Alice and Emmett were asleep on the floor, kinda huddled together, I didn't want to bother them. Plus, no one could help me out now.

_Oh, hell with it, I'm going in._

Rosalie's blonde waves were almost covering all of Bella, but she didn't seem to mind. I walked over, picked up Rosalie (which wasn't so easy, since Rosalie's almost my size) and put her on the couch. She murmured something. It was amazing, the girl could swear at me even in her sleep.

I sat on the chair by Bella's bed, and we looked at each other. I sighed, got up and laid next to her, trying to hug her without ripping of any of the tubes attached to her body. "That's better." she said. We just laid like that for a while, hugging and not saying anything. I was okay with it, because I knew the tough questions would come in a minute.

"Jasper?"

"Yes?"

"Is there a heaven?"

"Are you sure you're asking the right person?"

"Yeah."

"You might wanna rethink that."

She sighed. "Okay, let's say you're the only person who'll answer without adding 'Not that you'll get to the other side anytime soon' to the beginning."

"I really don't think they do classification over there."

She laughed. "I heard you cried when you found out Alice is pregnant."

I pulled myself back and looked into her eyes. "Look, if you, by any chance, bump into Peter over there, you're not telling him about this. I know I'm destined to be the butt of Emmett's jokes till the end of my life, I just don't want it go on at 'the other side'."

She hugged me even tighter. Well, as tight as she could, in this condition. "You miss him."

"Of course I do. He was my favorite person in the whole world."

"I'm sorry."

"Me too."

After that, it was silent for a while.

"You'll miss me too, right?"

"You don't even need to ask."

"Jasper, what happens if I die? I mean, apart from you all missing me and Edward going suicidal and all."

I sighed. "We'll name one of the twins Bella."

"Thank you." I could feel her smiling against my chest.

"Bella?"

"Hmm?"

"I'm completely serious about the crying thing. Really."

**Bella POV**

I had my goodbyes with everyone my friends, my parents... Though not many accepted as a goodbye. We were all hoping I'd live.

Edward was the last one, and we talked the longest. We laughed, we cried, and we shared secrets that no one else between us two would ever know.

As they wheeled me into the O.R and Rosalie pushed the drug that would numb me in 10 seconds, Edward leant in to whisper. "I love you, and I will pray with all my might, that you survive. But if you don't..."

I hoped the last part was misheard, due to me being in the last 3rd second of consciousness.

"...then I'll die with you."

And I closed my eyes.

**A/N:The dress links are on my profile. Please review, and I promise to never keep you waiting like this again.**


	4. Bella, Time Doesn't Wait

**A/N:Don't own Twilight. Sorry again for being the crappiest writer on universe and making you wait, I could go on with a list of reasons why I'm such a late updater, but I doubt you'd care, because I wouldn't. So again, I apologize in shame and, on with the story now.**

**Alice POV**

I fucking _hate_ waiting.

I was always on the other side of those doors, I controlled the time, I controlled lives and that didn't require waiting. Well, for me anyway.

So, as far as I can remember, this is the first time in a decade that I am the one to wait.

And in the end, I could've been waiting over nothing. Nothing at all.

It was a rare thing for me to doubt my decisions, because I have the ability to foresee. Not like a psychic, but I just always know what I'm doing and I do hell of a good job at calculating the outcome. That is why I'm the best in my job. That's why, ladies and gentlemen, a 26 year old girl rocks up the medical world.

Yet here I am now, waiting and re-thinking every little decision I made on Bella's surgery. And I can't even load up on coffee, because I'm pregnant. If someone was scripting our lives, he was obviously being really ridiculous on mine. I am a bitch without coffee.

Okay, this was getting really exhausting. Edward didn't talk, didn't move, didn't eat. Rosalie was crying. I shit you not. She had been crying since they wheeled Bella in the OR. Emmett was always the one handling sadness with anger, and we kind of had to send him away when he attacked the doors. So, there was something you wouldn't see everyday. Rosalie, sitting on Jasper's lap, hugging him and crying non-stop. He was too kind to say anything, but she was just depressing him more, and Rosalie was physically strong. Strong enough draw blood when she is clutching your arm.

It was unbearable. I looked at the clock, unable to register the time. There was a simple calendar on it, you know the kind that you rip off a page every day? The bold letters and numbers showed June 25. I hoped this day would only be remembered sadly by the death of MJ, and not any other reason concerning me closely.

_And then it was over._

Carlisle barged out the doors. I saw his expression, the flinch of his fingers, and the slightly hunched poise of his body.

"What did you do?" I hissed, taking a step towards him. From my peripheral vision, I could see Jasper trying to make Rosalie let go of him. He knew me too well.

Carlisle looked at me with desperation on his face. Edward raised his head to look at Carlisle. "D-Dad?" He looked like a lost puppy. _So not Edward._

Carlisle looked down. "Coma."

_She's in a freaking coma?_

"What the hell Carlisle? How the fuck did you manage that? How can you get her into a coma in a surgery on her _veins_?" The professional Alice had slipped away. This Alice wouldn't let him go before harming him seriously. That was my exact intention, I hit his chest, I shoved him, I think I even started kicking him at some point, then I felt something. Someone was shoving me back, hitting me and kicking me. I was doubling with pain, and soon enough, my knees gave way beneath me, but before I could hit the floor, more than one pair of hands reached out for me. The kicking was continuing, but more intense. The blows were coming from inside me.

As they kept getting stronger, I unintentionally kneeled on the floor. To be more exact, on the floor covered with my blood.

**Bella POV**

_23:47, June 27_

When my brain started processing things, I knew I wasn't actually awake.

See, I could hear. I could hear just fine. But I couldn't see -no, couldn't open my eyes, more like it. I couldn't move _anything_. I wanted to reach out and punch the fucker that was responsible of this shit. I was pissed off like hell, but I had no idea who to blame, or if I could really blame anyone, except myself. Me and my non-functioning body.

I was about to go crazy. The superior thought in my mind was that I was dead, and the distant humming of people and footsteps were coming from above me, whilst I was under the ground.

But the annoying beep came in kicked off that thought. The beep I'd been hearing for the last 2 and a half years of my life. Nope, not dead yet. I didn't know if I was supposed to be happy or sad about that.

I heard something being scraped across the floor, and someone coming close to me, I could hear their breathing.

"Bella?"

_Edward?_

"Can you hear me?"

_Yes!_

"Uh... Probably not. But I'll talk anyway..." He laughed nervously.

"Um... You're in a coma. They won't know if the surgery worked until you wake up. And now..." he took a deep breath "...anyway."

_Oh, that explains why I'm in such a shitty condition._

"So... Alice had her babies..."

_What! Oh my God! But wait... Isn't it..._

"Three weeks early. Yeah, they're all fine now. You would love the babies if you had seen them..."

_I'm sure. I wonder what they named them..._

"The weirdest part is, they didn't name them yet. They get kind of distant when they're asked about the names."

There was a pregnant silence.

"Bella, I know what they're thinking. I hope they don't have to name the baby after you."

_Of course he knows..._

"I'm just gonna let you rest for now."

I heard the chair move on against the floor, and footsteps.

I forced myself to sleep this off.

_4:02, June 28_

I woke up to the sound of someone softly breathing. Well, my brain woke up. My body was still asleep as hell.

"Bella?"

_Jasper?_

For a second, I felt a twinge of hope that I moved something, or twitched that made him aware that I woke up. It wasn't long until I realized the beeping fucker next to me was the only sign I was alive. Sleep, excitement, anger, bliss... That _thing_ showed everything _I_ was supposed to show. _Well, I should be grateful_, I thought. _Grateful my ass._

"In fact you don't feel, I'm using you as my pillow right now."

_I don't mind. And yeah, I don't feel._

"It's nice to hear your heartbeat."

_It's nice to know it still beats._

"I'm not gonna name my daughter Bella. Just so you don't have any excuses to go."

I wondered if it would make any difference. Not naming the baby after me, I mean. I remembered signing something about this coma thing back when it seemed like such a low possibility. If I go into a coma, please pull the plug on me in the 7th day of my... absence? Sleep? Life as a vegetable? I didn't know how long it had been. I didn't care.

"Bella, please wake up. Alice is dying to show you her babies, but she's too scared to see you like this. She is afraid this image of you is gonna stay in her memory forever."

_I'll try, Jasper. I'll try._

"You'll try."

_10:56, June 28_

"Still nothing?"

"Edward, it might be too early for her to recover. You have to give her some time."

"Dad, if she doesn't wake up in in 4 days, as her husband, I'd like to cancel the papers she signed about this shit."

"Edward, you have to respect her decisions, even if she's-"

"I don't give a fuck-get your hands off me!"

"Edward, you don't listen..."

"This conversation is over."

_Click._

_17:12, June 28_

"I assumed you might be feeling a little bored..."

A soft guitar sound filled the air, the familiar start of a familiar song.

"_Today, is gonna be the day that they're gonna throw it back to you..."_

I loved my little Rosie.

_11:28, June 29_

"Love, you've been asleep for quite a while now. Just so you know, I'm not giving Carlisle a single moment on his own, he's working with the best doctors he can reach, and Alice is joining them, from her bed."

_Silence._

"Um... They're making up excuses to keep Alice in her bed. She'll not give anyone a rest if she's discharged and on her feet."

_Not very surprising._

"Are you upset at Alice for not visiting you?"

_No... Should I be upset? No, I'm not. _

"You know Alice, she tends to... You just know Alice."

_I know Alice alright, she's a part of me. She's my best friend._

_20:25, June 29_

"Uh, hi."

_Silence_.

"Still in coma, huh?"

_Silence._

"I can beat up Carlisle for this, if you want."

_Silence._

"I wish you were awake and calling me Emmyfool again."

_Silence._

"Please open your eyes, Bells."

_You're a part of me too, Emmy._

_12:43, June 30_

"Bella, my love, please wake up. I can't stand being without you anymore. Please wake up for me, Bella, please. Wake up my love, please..."

_17:33, June 30_

"I found a name for my daughter. Eva. You better not die, because I really like that name and I don't see Alice wanting another baby for... ever, actually. She hates being pregnant. So wake up now, you can't just... Remember what you said, keep trying, please wake up. Edward is falling apart without you..."

_22:57, June 30_

"Bella? It's been 5 days already, and you're still not waking up, and I'm starting to worry... Bella please, I'm not ready to loose my tinkling Bells yet..."

_03:05, July 1_

"Bella? It's me, Alice. I'm so sorry for not visiting you earlier. I'm here now. Please open your eyes Bella, I can't... I just can't go on without you. Bella, please... Please... Please..."

_08:48, July 1_

"Bella... I'm so sorry. I'm so terribly sorry. I don't know what I did to cause this but I'd give anything to go back and fix it if I could. Bella, you're like my own daughter now, I can't thank you enough for how happy you made my son... He needs you Bella, just like we all need you. Bella, come back to us..."

_12:27, July 1_

"Bella, Alice said you can't hear us anymore. Is it true? Well, maybe you just wanted to focus on waking up. That's okay, just keep trying. I know you'll wake up."

_15:30, July 1_

"I'm not gonna let them pull the plug. Just so you know. You're not leaving me yet. You can't."

_18:21, July 1_

"You are running out of time. Please wake up soon, before they... Oh God, Bella, what is gonna happen to us if you go away? Why can't you just climb out it? Force yourself! Find a way and wake up!"

_22:53, July 1_

"Bells, you just pissed off Rosalie a lot. And you weren't even awake. Just so you know, I haven't left your stupid cord alone since a while, and I'm not planning to do so until you wake up. I'm gonna guard it with all my might, I'm a big guy, they can't make me move if I don't want to. But please help me out a little."

_02:48, July 2_

"Bella, this is your day. You're going to wake up today. You have to wake up today. This is your last chance... I can see you waking up, I'm your little psychic, remember?"

_09:05, July 2_

"Enough already. I can't listen to Wonderwall for the gazillionth time for you. Get your lazy ass off that bed and see what you've done to us."

_13:52, July 2_

"Don't worry Tinkerbella, I'm still guarding your cord. I'm not going anywhere."

_16:23, July 2_

"Are you ever gonna wake up? You suck at keeping promises, you know."

_19:45, July 2_

"Love, if you die, I'll die to. Keep that in mind if you ever feel like giving up."

_23:02, July 2_

"She has an hour and I can add up an extra hour too. She'll wake up, I know she'll wake up, she has to."

"Just one extra hour? Can't you do a bit better than that, Pixie? I mean, you practically own the hospital!"

"Emmett, I'll do anything to extend it. You know I will."

"Edward, don't cry, sshhh... She's gonna wake up?"

"When exactly is that gonna happen Rosalie? I don't see it happening anytime soon!"

"Edward, you-"

"Shut the fuck up you both! I told she is gonna wake up!"

"Bella, please... Please..."


	5. The Hardest Part

**A/N that's gonna take a while to read:I don't own Twilight. And just FYI, I don't know shit about state laws. That'll make sense to you later.**

**OK, now the long, boring part. I suck at updating. Nothing new there. I feel like I have to make an explanation. So, here it is:I'm not a good writer. Yes. I'm not. I like to classify myself as 'Creative', not meaning to brag though. Anyway, I get these lots of cool ideas, and it's just so, so hard to put them on paper... Uh, Word Document, you know what I mean. So, it takes quite a while for me to write a short/average length chapter. And I'm not even talking about how RL is a cruel bitch. I know you don't care, but I'm gonna explain anyway:I'm suffering from heartache. I'm not over him. I just don't feel like creating another world when I've yet to figure out my own. But that's not our point right now...**

**I'm so sorry. You guys are all amazing, and deserve much better. But I'm sorry to inform, I don't think this is something I can change. I write to get the ideas off my head, not to 'write', and this is a hard way to go. So, here's AliiceMariie to you:Infrequent updates, average chapters. God, I feel like an ass.**

**Okay, enough personal shit no one cares about (and no one has to). On with the story now.**

**Alice POV**

Did you ever feel so disappointed about something, even though you started out with the feeling that everything was gonna be just fine somehow? Did you ever make a desicion about someone else, an important decision? Then had to trust someone else with it?

Did you ever feel like hell when it all came crashing down on you?

"Alice, it is unacceptable. You already asked me for two extra hours, I gave my permission. But two more hours after that, is just plain ridiculous. It is against the state laws! I'm terribly sorry your friend has died, I can see how much she meant to you but I'm afraid I just can't possibly give you more time."

_Embrace your inner Rosalie, let her rise to the surface..._

"Doctor Campbell, I know state laws too. I know that a signed document can't be ignored when it's time, I know we have to obey the wishes of the patient, and I also know we are strictly forbidden to perform any operations when under the effect of alcohol. I know that you know it too."

_And how does that make you feel, Campbell?_

He visibly paled out.

"Alice, I don't know what you're talking about, but I'm warning you to watch the way you're-"

"Campbell," I sighed exasperatedly. "You've known me all these years. Don't you think that the minute you reject me and send me away, I'll end up with with some test results and a rock solid video proof in Marcus's door?"

He gulped and looked at me, obviously annoyed. "Just two more hours, and that's it."

I smiled and slid the paper in front of him. He signed.

"Bye Campbell."

I swayed out of the room and almost bumped noses with Rosalie.

"Did you..."

I looked at the ridiculously beautiful woman in front of me, still in her scrubs, with unlikely red eyes and tired skin. That moment, I felt so happy I had good news to tell her. "Yes. Two more hours. Bella better hurry her comatose ass, because that's all I could get."

She closed her eyes, smiled and hugged me. "I'm so glad."

I held her tighter. "Me too." Then I pulled away and made my way towards Bella's room. After a couple of seconds, I heard fast footsteps behind me. "Well, what are we gonna do now? She's obviously not gonna wake up if we don't do something!" I knocked lightly on the door and got in, successfully ignoring Rosalie. I looked around for a chair, then gave up and sat on Jasper's lap. He carefully looked at Edward for a while, who was hunched over Bella's limp body, quietly chanting something, then he whispered "What are you gonna do?" This time, I couldn't ignore and escape. This time, I had to reply. This time, I had to make up my mind.

"Something really bad." With that, I got up, went by Charlie and Renee. They were almost my second parents, it was hard for me to see them devastated like this. And what I was about to do now, probably wouldn't help their moods very much.

"Charlie, Renee... It's time. It's time to let her go now. We can't let her suffer like this... Don't let her go through any more pain." I shut off all my senses, not wanting to hear the heartwrenching sobs.

But it seemed I missed out an important detail.

Edward's eyes started burning with anger. He clutched the sides of his chair like he was ready to tear the thing apart. _And kill me with it._

I saw Jasper rush by Edward and hold his arm. It took a second to understand what he was doing.

Appearantly, 9 years were just not enough to kill 'The Secret Code'.

Emmett was the loud one that had no problem with connecting people. Edward and Jasper were more drawn-in. They had that in common, and that made them good friends. They even had a way of communicating, by writing on each others arms with their fingers. Emmett had made fun of them countless times throughout highschool for that. For a short while, Bella and I had doubts about their sexuality, and when we confronted them about it, they stopped using that communication technique.

I saw Edward relax a little and lean back in his chair, though he was still rather alert.

After heartbreaking goodbyes, Renee and Charlie were out the door.

I sighed and looked at my best friend's limp body. _Okay, you can handle this. You know what to do. Be strong. Save her, Alice._

"Jasper, I need you to get something for me, from the house. There is a box under our bed, with little vials in it. I need you to get one of the vials with red label, it has S-Co written on it." I got a few steps closer to him and looked him in the eye. "Do not break the vial."

He looked at me for a while, he seemed lost in thoughts. "Is that thing legal?"

_Shit_.

"No."

He got up. "I'll be back in 20 minutes."

I kept looking at the door for a couple of minutes after him.

"Rosie, Em, I need you guys out. For Bella."

They had so many questions in mind, all of them would take a lengthy argument. Emmett and Rosalie were the least easy going people I've ever known in my entire life, so it was kind of a surprise when all I got was a "She better be awake when I come back" look from Emmett and supportive stroke on my arm from Rosalie. With that, they left.

_Fuck, fuck, fuck. How do I do this? How? _

I pulled a chair in front of Edward and sat down. Our knees were touching. I took his hands, which were resting on his legs. I shifted forward. It was intimate in a way that could somehow only be explained with the word 'sibling'.

He looked at me. "You're crazy. What are you gonna do to my wife?"

"Edward, there is no easy way to explain this. Please try to understand."

His eyes immediately turned ice cold. "Alice, you have simply too much of my understanding than you deserve. Go on."

I shuddered. "The drug. It works instantly, creates a shock effect. It would kill a normal, healthy person, but it works so different in a coma patient's body. It will either make her wake up, or kill her. Either way, she will go through excrutiating pain as it goes through her system, even though it will only last for a minute or so. It's like no pain in the world, and if the drug works and she wakes up to see my holding the syringe, she's gonna hate me forever, but if we don't use it, she is defiantly going to die. So we have no other option that this or letting her die in peace."

It felt like I saw Edward's heart shatter to pieces. "It's either gonna work or not. Equally possible?"

"Yes."

I hugged him, let him cry. "I just want her to live, Alice. That's all I want, but it just seems to much to ask... She's my life, I need... I need her to stay alive..."

Just two minutes of his sobbing was enough to kill a part of my soul.

* * *

I flicked the tip of the syringe, making sure there was absolutely no air left in it.

It was only Edward and me in the room now, plus Bella's body. I looked over at him, giving him one last chance to walk out of the room, but he didn't move, except holding Bella's hand tighter.

_Put on your big girl panties, Alice._

I wiped Bella's arm with sterilizer. Edward jumped up.

"Wait! How do we know if it worked or not?"

"If it doesn't work, nothing will change. If it works, you'll surely notice."

He sat back down.

"Are you ready?"

He sighed. "Yes. Just get it over with."

_Well, __**I'm**__ not ready._

I lowered the syringe to her arm and slowly pushed the pistol to inject just enough of the 'medicine', then pulled out and threy away the syringe, then ran to the bathroom and threw up until I was breathless. That moment, I regretted this. This whole thing. I never should have taken this case at the beginning. I should have guessed that I'd let my emotions overcome my professionality, blurring my judgement. I never should have agreed to this. _I never should have..._

I felt my knee caps come dangerously close to shattering with the force of my fall. I just stood on the ground, fearing to look back in the room and see the result of my decision.

_But I heard._

A small gasp. Some coughing. "E-Edw-"

_Bella._

For some reason, I then passed out.

**A/N:For the full effect, listen to Coldplay's 'The Hardest Part'. Chapter name, anyone? :D Hope you likey. By the way, if you notice anything that doesn't make sense in the story, don't be shy, ask me. I'll never get pissed off at a question.**


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